Class of Horrors
by SilverHeart87
Summary: Max, the Flock, and Ella are back at school... this time real school. They'll face ass-y teachers, mean kids, scary classes, and... a blast from the past! *gasp*! What will occur? Read and find out!
1. Chapter 1: School, the normal kind

**A/N: Yes, this has been done millions of times before, but only once with Maximum Ride. So… HA! If you yell at me about the originality of this fic, I will murder you with a spoon. That's right, a spoon. It's possible, trust me. So this is set after MAX, and FANG never happened. So… that means Iggy making fun of Max and Fang! Wooo hoooo! LOL I feel mean. By the way, this is my new OC, Jassinia, Jas for short. She is a small purple puffball, so don't judge. I saved her from the evil clutches of His Royal Stupidity: Dylan the Dumbass and Dr. Amazing (heheheh…), so now she has to help me!**

**Jas: I think Dylan was better…**

**Me: Shut up! Did Dylan give you cookies? Noooo!**

**Jas: -sticks out tongue- You're forgetting something.**

**Me: You get no cookies after being so mean.**

**Jas: No, the disclaimer! Fine, I'll do it… Silver doesn't own MR. If she did, she'd be a lot happier, and I wouldn't have to work here…**

**Me: So without further ado, the story!**

Class of Horrors

Max's POV

"Max! I'm sooo excited! I mean, we finally get to go to school again! And this time with Ella! This will be so much fun! And now we don't have to be on the run anymore! Like, it was fun, and stuff, without grown-ups, but now we get to have fun! You know what else is fun? Trampolines. We should get one, Max. We could jump around, and-"Gazzy cut off Nudge with a hand over her mouth.

"Thanks, Gaz," Iggy said, yawning. "I was afraid my head was going to explode before we even got to school." Nudge hit him and glared.

"I do not talk that much, Iggy," she grumbled, still glaring murderously. Fang snickered, and another look was sent by Nudge.

Fang ignored it, though, and instead turned to me and Iggy, showing us his schedule. "Compare," he said in his usual one-word way. (**Oh, yeah, forgot. Fang, Max, and Iggy are in 10****th**** grade, Nudge and Ella are in 9****th**** grade, Gazzy is in 7****th**** grade, and Angel is in 5****th****. Just pretend the schools are right next to each other).** It turned out that Fang and I had Geometry with Mrs. Wigpal, and U.S. History with Mr. George. With Iggy, I only had Science with Mr. Snuffs. Hopefully he wouldn't blow anything up, we didn't need a repeat of the bombs in Virginia. Me, Ella, Nudge, Fang, and Iggy all had lunch together, which was awesome. Saved us from being the weird new kids again…. Then I had Health (the most joyous class ever… not) with Mr. Payne (even his _name_ sounds bad), along with Iggy and Fang. Joy of joys… I'm pretty sure Health with Iggy will be almost as bad as the School.

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

"We're here," Mom announced as we drove up to a bunch of red brick buildings. "Now, remember, act normal, guys."

"And that means no mind-puppet, Angel," I added. She only grinned sweetly at me, then jumped out of the car. I groaned. "If she goes to Magical Unicorn Island for no reason today, I will not make it a fun week for her."

The rest of us got out of the car, all except Gazzy going towards the building marked **High School **in big, white letters on top of the building.

"They could've made it more obvious, hm?" I muttered to Fang, and he smirked.

When we got closer, Nudge started to run faster towards the building. She got to the doors, and threw them open, her mouth smiling so hugely you could have fit a banana in there. She and Ella scampered down one hallway, while Fang, Iggy and I went down another. First class: Spanish with Dr. Mitchell.

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

Dr. Mitchell turned out to be a pretty good teacher. I didn't know it was possible, but she was. She didn't nag, and let you talk as long as you did your work. The only bad things about her were she had given us assigned seats, and she put me next to this kid who kept looking at my… chest area. Can you be anymore obvious, dude? She also called me Maxine, which I positively hate. But other than those minor flaws, she was all right.

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

After Spanish, I had Science. As I walked down the hall, I ran into someone who was texting, oblivious to everything around her. She looked up, pissed off. I was about to help her up, then saw her face. I smirked, and strutted away, leaving her on the floor with papers scattered around her.

**Oooooh! Cliffy! Yeah, I took this down, then put this one back up, cuz I didn't like it before. So sorry if you already read it, and then I took it down.**

**Jas: Or maybe with the first one you were just being lazy and didn't want to finish it.**

**Me: Shuddup! Anyways, thanks for reading. And sorry I left you with a cliffy, but that's where I thought I should stop. I don't really know how long this fic is going to be, so bear with me.**

**Jas: And she messed up part of her other fic, ****Here Without You.**** The song is by 3 Doors Down, not Hey Monday. **

**Me: Ya. Unfortunately. Sorry. Anyway, R&R! First reviewer gets a unicorn!**


	2. Chapter 2: Deathly Lunch

**A/N: Well, I'm back. Sorry to anyone who is extremely pissed at me for not updating. Even as I write this, I probably won't get it up for a couple more days. I've been really busy lately, as last weekend I had a choir competition and my friend's birthday party (at which we saw the new Pirates of the Caribbean, which was awesome), and this weekend is my sister's birthday and Memorial Day weekend. Oh, yes, and the unicorn goes to… DeathAngels1996, the only reviewer! So congrats! Here is your beloved unicorn! Its name is Swishy! Sorry, I'll stop blathering on. Here's the chappie.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own MR. I also don't own the Bacon thing, that belongs to Phoenix Fanatic I think; correct me if I'm wrong. I also don't own Frosted Flakes, or anything else you recognize. I basically only own the plot.**

Chapter 2: Deathly Lunch Tables, Killer Food, and a whole lotta bitch

Great. Just what I needed to really get my day going. A fresh dose of the Red-Haired Wonder. Lissa. I was scowling as I walked into Science and threw my bag down next to Iggy.

"Whoa, PMS much?" he asked, sniggering.

"Shut up, Iggy, just shut up. You have no idea who I just ran into. And it's not Pissed at Men; right now it's Pissed at Bitch." I snarled.

He was about to ask me what happened when the bell rang and the teacher, Mr. Snuffs, walked in. I could tell by just looking at him that he wouldn't notice if a kid brought in Bacon, had a Bacon party and decorated the room with Bacon, the Bacon got up and started to sing and dance, and teleported us all to Narnia.

"Alright, let's take attendance, class," Mr. Snuffs said in a bored tone. I won't go into all the details of that, but let's just say this class would not be one of my favorites. Lissa was in it (but not here, apparently), as well as a bunch of kids with tons of acne and huge glasses who looked like the kind that could talk about protons and Newton's Theory of Schmancy Scientific Stuff all day. Joy. My kind of people. Not.

"Sorry I'm late!" shouted a high-pitched voice. And there _it_ was, in all her red glory. It made me pissed off just looking at her and remembering how she was stuck to Fang that day in Virginia.

"Ah, Miss Rothins, how nice of you to join us," Mr. Snuffs drawled boredly. All right, he's always boring, so whatever he says is boring unless I say otherwise, 'kay? "I supposed you are going to provide us with a thrilling tale of why you are late?" Lissa opened her mouth to explain, but Mr. Snuffs just shushed her. "Never mind," he said, "detention. I don't particularly care the reason." Hm. Maybe Mr. Snuffs isn't that bad.

The rest of the class was not very exciting. We just went over the rules, which I seriously doubted would be enforced. Iggy managed not to blow anything up at the little entry-lab we did, though he was twitching in his seat the entire time.

On my way out, I bumped into someone. Again. And it was Lissa. Again.

"OMG! Max? Is that you? Omigosh, I haven't seen you in sooo long! This is so great! Is Nick here, too?" she squealed.

"Great to see you, too, Lissa," I said through gritted teeth.

Lissa kept chattering at me down the hall. Turned out we had two other classes together as well. The next two. Yippee. I could see us becoming best friends. Take note of all sarcasm, people.

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

The classes went by very slowly, the clocks almost purposely taunting me, and then it was finally lunch. I managed to shake off Lissa when she went to go talk to some old friends of hers, and I got in the lunch line.

When I finally got to the front of the line where the food was served, I wished I hadn't. It looked like brown sludge mixed with grass shavings, with goose poop drops floating on top. Mmm, I can see how good it would taste already.

I looked up at the menu. Apparently, this was supposed to pass as soup.

"I'd just go with the cereal," someone said. I swirled around, expecting to find an Eraser there, even though they no longer existed, or worse, Jeb. Instead I saw a nice- looking (and I say that loosely, because you can never tell with people) girl with shoulder-length brown hair, braces, and a pair of black plastic glasses.

I smiled back tentatively. "Thanks," I said, and grabbed a box/bowl thing with Frosted Flakes in it. I got to the end of the line without encountering any more killer food.

I looked around for the flock, but didn't see anyone when I felt someone breathing down my neck. I swirled around, about to punch whoever it was in the face, but they caught my fist. Fang.

"F-Nick! What the hell? I thought you were some creeper!" I shouted at him. I freed my fist from his grasp, and finally spotted the rest of the flock. I stomped off and sat down next to Ella. Fang, chuckling slightly, sat down next to me.

"Good," Ella commented, "you didn't get the soup. Never, ever, EVER get the soup. Or really anything they serve there that they make themselves."

"Crap," Nudge said, looking at her pate of slop, depressed.

"Hey, guys!" I hear a shrill, shrieking voice go. Shit. She's back.

Lissa plopped down her lunch tray and sat down on the bench, _right next to Fang._ "Remember me? I'm Lissa!" she squealed. "Max and I are already becoming such great friends! We have three classes together! It's awesome!" She then treated me to a simpering grin. Well not me, more to Fang. I did grin, though, when I notice Fang inching away from her and more towards me. _That's right, bitch, _I thought, sending Lissa a telepathic message. Not really, I'm not Angel, but you get my meaning. _He likes ME better. _

I had to listen to Lissa blabber on and on and ON about stupid celebrity gossip all lunch hour. I felt like my brain was going to explode, and I still had three more classes, one of them being Health.

Finally, lunch was over. Thank _God. _If I had to hear one more thing about Jennifer Aniston or Johnny Depp or whoever the hell she was talking about, she would have gotten a face full of soup.

When I moved to get out of my seat, I tripped over the edge of the table and fell over, Fang barely catching me before I hit the ground. Great. This day just keeps getting better and better.

**A/N: Yeah, this was kind of a filler chapter. Deal with it. Health will be next, so stay tuned. Damn, there was something I was gonna say here, but now I forget what. Blehh. Hate it when I do that. Oh, yeah! Remembrance! So, no one is beta-ing this, so sorry for any mistakes. Anyways, R&R, and see you next chappie!**

**~Silver~**


	3. Chapter 3: Health and Incest?

**A/N: Sorry it took so long; I've had a lot of projects my teachers assigned at the last minute that were a big part of my grade. I'm not really sure where this story is going to go, and I don't have anything planned out. When I think it, I write it. This story will not have much of a plot, so don't complain about it. Last chappie was a filler, so this is the one where they will actually go to Health. Soon, I'll post another story of how I got Jas. It'll be a crackfic, so we'll see how that turns out. This story will most likely end soon, on account of how humor is not my thing. Sorry, super long A/N. On with the show!**

**Awesome health-related quote I found: **_**The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat. –**_**Albert Einstein.**

Oh no she didn't. I was beyond pissed off. It was like you could almost see steam coming out of my ears. Stupid Lissa, with her stupid red hair and her stupid slutty clothes. Trying to take Fang away from me! After I had tripped over the bench (which was so not my fault, there was probably an invisible dancing walrus or something in my way. Damn walruses…), Lissa goes up to Fang, and asks, in a voice that was so drenched in honey (hopefully bees attack her and sting her, because then her face would match her hair), if he wanted to go out sometime because they had, and I quote, "so much fun in Virginia". You kissed ONCE, asswipe! How does that constitute as FUN! I admit, kissing is fun, especially Fang, but it was once. One time.

But unfortunately for her, Fang said no. 'Cuz he has a girlfriend. ME! He knows he would've gotten his ass kicked, too, if he said yes. Which wouldn't happen anyways, because Fang loves me this much!

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

So, after my pissed off rant, we barely made it to Health. We sat down at the only empty table, which luckily had three open seats. Unluckily, the other person at the table was the perv who sat next to me in Spanish. Mr. Payne glared at us, and began to take roll. That idiot who I was stuck sitting across from was named Joel.

"Alright, class," Mr. Payne said. "There are no introductions to what we are doing in here. I will teach, you will take notes, and then you will do the homework I assign you at home. If I catch you doing the homework in this class, while I am teaching, you will have to redo that homework, as well as an extra packet. Is that clear?"

_Wow, uptight much? _I thought. God, he needed to get out more.

"Okay. Today, we'll watch a video and answer a questions sheet on it. The questions sheet will tell me what you know. Don't answer the questions, and we'll have a lot more learning to do." Mr. Payne- who I have now dubbed (look at me and my old-English) Mr. Pain-in-the-ass, or PITA for short- grinned creepily. I was almost positive he was an undercover pedophile. "This one is on males. The one on females is tomorrow."

With that, he put the DVD into his computer and projected it onto the SmartBoard, and then proceeded to go on his computer, _giggling _the entire time. If that doesn't confirm his creepiness, I don't know what will.

The video finally started, after a long viewing of commercials, one of which was for… er… feminine hygiene products, which was odd, because it was a _guy's_ video.

"_The body is a complex thing. It is different for girls and boys. The main difference is the area between the thighs."_ No shit, Sherlock. I thought we were in 10th grade, not kindergarten. "_Boys mature to "men" when their voices get deeper, they fill out their body, and begin to grow hair on their underarms, chest, and pubic area."_ Ah. Here was the awkward part.

The goddamned video then continued, showing us diagrams of the male body, and, ahem, personal area.

I had completely forgotten to answer the question sheet, and had to quickly "borrow" the answers from Fang. It kind of scared me that he was paying that much attention, though.

"I hope you enjoyed the video," PITA said dryly. "For homework, you will label this diagram. Good luck," and he started giggling again. I'm getting second thoughts toward the pedo thing, and leaning more towards and immature 15-year-old in a 55-year-old's body.

I couldn't help but gasp, though, when he handed out the homework. We had to label the diagrams. Just like in the video. Maybe Fang would help me… Stop, Max! Bad thoughts! Very very very bad thoughts!

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

Finally, the bell rang. I sprang out of my seat, feeling as if I was going to throw up. I walked out with Iggy and Fang, Iggy laughing hysterically.

"That… was… HILARIOUS!" he choked out between guffaws. "The look on your face, Max! Priceless! I'm sure Fang will help you, 'cuz you've got a _need._" I glared once again at him, slapping him, hard, on the arm for his earlier comment. He stopped laughing almost immediately, and I smirked.

"Ig, I'm sure you fantasize about that kind of stuff. At least I get to do something about it," I said. Then I was the one who started laughing at the look on Iggy's face.

"F-Nick! Why didn't you TELL you'd gotten that far? What happened to the bro code, man? I want to know this kind of stuff!" Iggy complained. Fang just snorted, then looked at me. There was an odd glint in his eyes, but he turned away before I could see what it was.

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

The last two classes passed quickly. Thankfully, Iggy was in neither of them, and had no chances to make any innuendos.

As soon as the final bell rang, I leapt out of my seat, and dashed to my locker. It was like I was in a race or something, how fast I went. I was the first one outside, waiting for the rest of the flock and Ella before going to look for my mom in the long line of cars waiting to pick kids up.

Then I saw her. Lissa was walking along the sidewalk, laughing at some lame joke the girl next to her made. This was my chance to show Lissa that Fang was mine, and there was nothing she could do about it.

As I walked up to her and her friend, they looked at me like I was some sort of squirrel that had just jumped off a tree, ran into their window, and then died. "Lissa? Could I talk to you? Alone?" I said in a voice that was so sugar- coated, you could use it to bake a cake. Not that I would taste very good in a cake, but... whatever, it's just an expression.

Lissa, rolling her eyes at her friend, followed me to the side of the school building. She kept looking at me, snorting 'prettily' (if that's even possible), and then looking away again. What the hell is her problem? Whatever. She would have a bigger problem if she kept flirting with Fang. One that involves my fist, drugged cupcakes, rabid dolphins, and a one-way ticket to the School.

"Listen, bitch," I snarled. "Stay away from F-Nick. Okay? He's MINE, and only mine. I'm not going to share him with you."

She looked at me even more weirdly than before. "Um, isn't he, like, your brother? That's just, like, wrong. Like, seriously. It's, like, incest." I didn't hear her. The only thing I heard was how many times she said like. She said it four times in a probably fifteen-word sentence.

What she said finally registered in my brain. I felt like laughing at her. "You… do know… what… adopted means… right?" I asked her incredulously between laughs. "It means… we're not… related." I got a hold on myself. "It's not _incest._"

With a huff, she turned around and flounced off. "I'm still going for him," she said, not even bothering to turn around, "even if you've got a claim. Soon, he'll realize I'm much better for him than you will ever be."

Now _that_ was just plain hilarious. She had no clue who really was better suited for Fang.

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

I was still laughing when I got home. I got quite a few looks from the flock, but I didn't mind. That was worth anything. I seriously doubt a girl without wings is better suited for a boy with wings than a girl with wings.

"Max? Is everything alright? You seem to be having a laugh attack." Fang asked me later, coming into my room.

"Yeah," I told him, still smirking slightly. "Lissa thought it was incest that we were dating." Then he, Mr. Stoic-I-don't-show-my-emotions-Rock, started to laugh. Not snicker. A full-blown, all-out tickle laugh.

He was suddenly serious. "Then would it be incest if I did… this?" He leaned toward me, and I did the same, and our lips crashed together. This was no light peck on the lips; this was a make out session. But I didn't mind. All thoughts left my head as soon as our lips touched.

"Get a room!" Iggy shouted as he walked past.

"I'm in a room! Get your own!" I shouted back, somewhat muffled, since Fang's lips were still attached to mine.

This day wasn't the best of my not-super-fun life, but it was definitely one of the most interesting.

**A/N: Yeah, so that's it. For this chappie, anyways. Sorry about the bad** **ending, but I'm** **not the best at those. If you do happen to read this story, please review! I don't think ANYONE reviewed last chapter, which makes me very sad. I only want 3 reviews for this one, before I post the next. Just three! It's not hard! Thanks, and R&R!**


	4. Chapter 4: Power Out Fun! Not

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. I just didn't want to write it. But now I have a new one-shot up! Go read it, it's PJO! Ok, here's the chappie. And no offense to any teachers out there who are reading this. Not all teachers are like this. Just Max's.**

**Disclaimer: The disclaimer is currently knocked out for unknown reasons –cough-. Yes, they are unknown. But I don't own Hostess, because my mom says that they're "too unhealthy". Screw unhealthy, I want my cake!**

Chapter 4: Power Outage Fun! Not.

_**Quote of the chapter: Let's play truth or dare. Or just Dare, because no one tells the truth anymore.**_

_**-One Tree Hill**_

"Max! Max! Where are you?" Crap.

"What?" I called back, trying to fix my hair, Fang putting his shirt on behind me. Well, that was as good as it was going to get, giving one last chance at even slightly putting it back into the style Nudge and Ella put it in this morning.

My mom was glaring at me when I got back downstairs. "Max!" she scolded. "What did I say this morning about school?"

What did she say this morning? Quite a few things. "Um, 'Maximum Martinez Ride, get your ass out of bed'?"

She glared at my bad attempt to lighten the situation. "No, Max! Do your homework! If I remember correctly, I said that you had to do your homework before doing anything- and that includes making out with Fang." I blushed. She knew that? "Yes, Max, I knew that. I'm a mom. We know everything, and have eyes everywhere. Now homework! Go!"

I grudgingly trudged into the kitchen, plopping down next to Ella. I grabbed my backpack, and pulled out the five binders I would need. I mean, really. It was the first day of school! Did we have to get 5 bazillion tons of homework? No. Did we anyways? Yes. Why? Because our teachers are insane aliens from the planet IHateKids, and they feast on our brains when they explode from overload. Yep, that's right. Maybe that should be my next "Save the world" mission. To find out the true species of teachers.

I looked over my homework, and growled. This was so confusing! How was I supposed to know what the vertex, parabola, and axis of symmetry of the quadratic equation were and how to graph it? I could barely do long division!

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

With a lot of help from my mom, I finally got the math homework done. Now only four more subjects. Yay. One of which was Health. That was one subject I really did not want to do. I'm pretty sure I would get some type of disease by doing that homework. Mature of me, I know.

I groaned, and grabbed my English homework. One down, four to go.

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

Done! Now all that was left was Health. Joy of joys. I could be doing something useful, like flying, or beating up Flyboys, or M-Geeks, or whatever the new Dumb-Bot version was, or getting ice cream, but no. I had to do homework concerning male anatomy.

"Boo," I heard right behind my ear, and I screeched. Argh! Damn Fang and his ability to creep up on people!

He chuckled, then noticed the homework I was sort of doing. "Ah, Max, you missed a spot." He pointed to the spot, well, above the legs and below the stomach, let's say. You know what I'm talking about.

He earned a Glare of Unending Doom©, courtesy of me. "I am well aware of that, Fang. But I was pretending this was you, and what's the point in labeling what isn't there?" I smiled sweetly up at him. This time, I was the one to get the glare.

_Pop._ We were suddenly bathed in darkness as every light in the house blinked out. "Head count!" I shouted. I heard four faint here!'s, and one loud one in my ear. "Fang! Stop it! Mom! Ella? You guys okay?" I heard two more people say that they were fine, and I relaxed. So it was just a regular power outage, not an attack. For once.

I saw a small light near the doorway, which I realized was a flashlight, illuminating my mom's somewhat panicked face. "Good! You guys are okay! Everyone gather in the kitchen," she commanded, and, not surprisingly, four figures appeared behind her in seconds. How come they never listen to me like that anymore?

"Oh-em-gee, guys, it's a power outage! You know what this means?" Nudge chattered, clapping her hands. "It means we get to do everything like pioneers! Like cooking over an open fire, and playing games, and having no TV or video games, and getting to spend time together! My favorite game is Life; did you know that? You get to get married and have kids and get a job! I want 7 kids when I grow up, and I want to be a doctor, and-" Nudge was cut off as Iggy put his hand over her mouth for the second time that day. The third Glare of Unending Doom© in the last hour was sent, this time from Nudge to Iggy.

"I think Nudge has some pretty good ideas," said Ella. "We could play games, although I would rather just use the stovetop to cook dinner. I know! We could play Truth or Dare!"

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

With a lot of moaning, groaning, and bribery (Iggy), we all gathered in a circle on the living room floor. "Okay! Who wants to go first?" asked Nudge. Without waiting for an answer from anyone, she decided that she, in fact, would go first.

"Iggy! Truth or dare?"

He sighed. "Dare, I guess."

"Yay! I was hoping you would say that!" Nudge squealed. "Iggy, I dare you to switch shirts with Ella!"

They both blushed profusely, and then left the room to change.

Nudge grinned. "They need to realize that they're perfect for each other." I didn't really understand how switching clothes would help that, but at least it would be funny.

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

Glares were sent from both Ella and Iggy as they came back into the room. But even the Glare of Unending Doom© was no match for the hilarity of the situation. We all burst into laughter. The two cross-dressers (don't tell them I said that) blushed profusely and sat down.

"Yeah, yeah, it's hilarious to make fun the blind kid," Iggy griped. "Let's just get on with this." Still drying tears of mirth from my eyes, I nodded. If we didn't stop laughing, we would never finish with this game. And that would be a horrible fate. To be playing Truth or Dare for the rest of your life would be equal to being stuck in a room with Eau de Gazzy for eternity, or at least until the world ended.

"Alright, Ig, it's your turn." He grinned evilly, and looked right at me. Gulp. This was likely to turn out very badly.

"Max, I dare you to-" he was cut off by my mom yelling that it was time for "dinner". Thank God. Now his evilness could be postponed, if not completely destroyed.

Since we had no oven, dinner consisted of fruit, crackers, and Hostess cakes. Yum. I could live off of Hostess cakes for the rest of my life. Which, you know, could only be for another 5 minutes, so I guess it wouldn't hurt.

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

"Kids! Bed! Go!" Mom yelled. This was followed by a lot of moans and 'but I don't wanna!'s or, 'just let me finish this show! Rachel and Finn are getting back together!'s. Don't ask me who Rachel and Finn are, it was Nudge and Ella who said that.

But anyways, we had to go to bed. That was the one bad thing about staying here. We had to abide by the rules, and couldn't do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. Not that I listened to them most of the time anyways.

The power was still out, unfortunately. It meant that I had to get dressed in the dark, and navigate around in the dark. I guess this is what Iggy felt like all the time.

Because I had no light, it took me a lot longer to get ready to sleep than it usually did. Partly because school, surprisingly, had taken much for energy out of me than I had expected. When I finally got to bed, it was a full forty-five minutes after the time I usually go to sleep.

After hours of tossing and turning, I got to sleep. Then woke up two hours later, having to use the bathroom. Just my luck.

After relieving myself, I wandered sleepily back into my room. I fell into bed, which was kind of out of position for some reason, and went back to dreamland almost immediately.

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

When I woke up, I felt… disoriented. I realized that it was because my pillow seemed harder, for some reason. That was odd.

I punched the sides of it to make it more comfortable, and it let out an _Oof! _Hmm. Didn't know pillows could talk, but okay then. Oh! It probably thought I was rude for not responding.

"Good morning, Mr. Pillow," I said sleepily, rubbing my eyes. That was weird. My pillow was an olive-ish color instead of its normal bright green.

"Crap!" I whisper-yelled as I awoke out of my morning delirium. My pillow was no pillow. It was Fang's shirtless, perfect, chiseled chest.

Fang groaned. "Max?" he asked blearily. "Is that you? What are you doing?" I merely shrugged, and lay back down on his chest. It was actually much more nice as a pillow than my real pillow.

"Dr. M! Max isn't in her bed!" I heard someone shouting distantly. Oh, crap. Crap, crap, crap. The thundering of footsteps was going up the stairs, and, soon after, Mom's head popped into Fang's room.

"Fang? Have you seen- oh," she noticed me partially laying on him. "Max," she said in her angry you-get-no-cookies voice. "What the _heck _are you doing? You have about twenty seconds to explain.

"Crap," I squeaked out, then jumped off of Fang, and flew past her. I knew things would only be getting worse.

**A/N: So? What did ya think? Hate it? Love it? Review either way! It was the longest chapter yet! And tell me what you think Iggy's dare is going to be for Max! If I like your idea, I may use it in the next chappie. R&R?**

**~Silver**


	5. AUTHOR'S NOTE! SORRY!

Author's Note

I'm really, really sorry this hasn't been updated in a very long time. My life is somewhat hectic, and I do not have a laptop at the moment, so I have to use the family computer, which my sister or brother is almost always hogging. So, in other words, I have no time to write at all. And school is starting next week. So, I'm putting this story on hiatus, because I have no time. I'll probably start it again when the volleyball season is over, and I'll have more time again and I'm not dead when I end up coming home from school at five. Once again, I'm sorry. Chapter 5 is in the works, and that will be posted soon, but I have no idea when the next one will be up. I'll try as hard as I possibly can!

HIATUS STARTS NOW!

CHAPTER 5 WILL BE POSTED SOON!


	6. Chapter 5: Wait, what?

**A/N: Heh… hi… -hides behind impenetrable wall of jello- I am so, so sorry. But, the fact that I didn't update was maybe caused by my lack of reviews (hint, hint). Also, someone, (Thank you, Journey21) informed me that Max was being OOC. I'll try to fix it, but she's not going to be perfectly canon. And here is the long-awaited chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I left it at the beach when I was on vacation. But I do not own the Grapist, WKUK does.**

"Max! Get back here! MAX! If you are not back here in the next 10 seconds, I am taking away your cookies for two months! 10, 9, 8-"

Crap. Which was more important? My well being, without having any more broken bones; or cookies?

With a sigh, I trudged back up the stairs. Cookies beat all, except maybe kissing Fang. I reached Mom just as she was saying two; thank God. I couldn't live if it was without the chocolaty morsels of deliciousness.

"Both of you. My office. Now." This was bad. Mom had never gotten this mad, besides that time when Gazzy had blown that hole in the master bathroom's floor, and she was taking a shower. We couldn't go underneath that for months, because if you did, well, let's just say it was as if Hagrid had sneezed on top of you while you were under Niagara Falls. Not fun.

"Oof!"

"OW!"

"You're crushing me! Where would Akila be without her one true love?"

Yep. I just tripped over Total. It's cuz I've got skillz, as Gazzy puts it. But it wasn't just that. I tripped, fell on Fang, he fell down, and then crushed Total half to death. Oops. Heh. Meh, it might not be that bad if Total was crushed. We would have a nice new floor mat.

_Max!__That__'__s__so__mean!,_Angel thought at me.

_It__was__a__joke_,_sweetie_. _And__Angel,__what__did__I__say__about__going__into__other__people__'__s__minds?_

She mind-giggled, if that's even possible. _Okay,__okay.__Sorry,__Max._I felt her presence leave my mind, and then reenter. _Oh,__and__Max?__Why__does__Dr.__M__care__so__much__that__you__and__Fang__slept__together?__You__used__to__do__that__all__the__time,__when__we__stayed__in__those__hotels._

_Er,__Angel?__I__would__recommend__that__you__don__'__t__say__that__little__factoid__to__Mom.__She__might__react__to__it__the__wrong__way_I told her. She just giggled in this evil way, and left my mind. Crap.

"Max? Helloooo?" Fang was looking at me as if I had just told him that the Grapist was coming tonight with his Fizzy Pops Grape Blast, so he shouldn't wear his purple pajamas, and to stay away from radiators.

"Sorry. I was talking to Angel." He nodded, and held his hand out to help me up.

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

When we got to my mom's office, surprisingly, Ella and Iggy were there, both beet red and not looking at each other.

"Um, hey," I said, breaking the extremely awkward- like I-just-walked-in-on-you-in-the-shower-and-didn't-leave awkward- silence. "What're you guys doing in here?"

Iggy muttered something about beds and hair, and Ella just turned even redder, if that was possible, and said nothing. I shrugged, and sat down next to beet-girl, AKA Ella. Fang opted to lean against the wall, playing up the "cool guy" act.

Mom stormed in about five minutes later, hair frazzled and looking angrier than a hippopotamus who got a cupcake, and then said cupcake was stolen by some dumbass rhinoceros who thought he was better than the hippo just cuz he had a damn horn.

Mom opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off. I know; I'm so polite. Eating squirrel on a stick with your hands for five years of your life will do that to you. "Before you kill us, I was to know why these two-" I pointed to Iggy and Ella, "-are in here. I'm not even really sure why I'M in here, so if you could clarify..." I trailed off, noticing Mom's glare. Her glare was the only one superior to mine. Fang's didn't even come close. It like his was a dino-bird (Geddit? I'm being punny), I was an ankylosaurus, and Mom was a giant t-rex that was going to eat us all. Shuddup. Gazzy used to have a dinosaur obsession, okay?

Anyways, Mom glared at me. She then began to speak in a very clipped tone, sounding very calm. But you know that's always when they're most dangerous. "I'll tell you why you're here, Maximum. You and Fang were engaging in intercourse. I will not tolerate that in my house! And furthermore, what about the kids? When kind of example are you setting for them, having sex at sixteen? And no one knows what will happen with a hybrid pregnancy. You could have put yourself in so much danger!"

I just gaped at her. Sex? That's what she thought happened! I just fell asleep in the wrong place! It's all Fang's fault for not wearing a shirt when he sleeps, anyways. I told her so, but she just glared at me again.

"Maximum Ride. That had better be the truth, or life will not be fun for you." Then she turned to Iggy and Ella, and started shouting at them about one thing or another, probably about skipping some class. Usually, I'd be all over them for that too, but I can understand why they would want to. That, and I was traumatized by what my mother thought I was doing. Although, how bad could it be? Fang shirtless was awesome… no, Max! Don't go there!

"Ow!" I shouted as Fang randomly poked me in the side. Hard.

"Max. Your mom dismissed us. Let's go, before she decides you were lying and wants to kill us all." Fang tugged on my hand and pulled me up out of the seat, and we were almost out of the door until Mom called Fang and Iggy back. Damn. So close! So close to making it out with all of my limbs! I turned, but she waved me away.

"I would like to speak with Fang and Iggy, please, Maximum. Alone." Crap. Crap, crap, crap. She was so pissed right now. Mom only called me Maximum when I was in some deep doo-doo. But right now, Fang was in much more trouble than me. I had immunity (or at least, more than everyone else besides Ella. Which doesn't really count, because Ella has hardly any either), because I was her daughter, after all. But Fang was not related to her at all. Fang was dead. Unless I helped him!

"Max?" Great. I was being poked in the gut once again, this time by Ella. "You've got that devious look on your face…" I did? I immediately replaced my (apparently) evil look with an angelic smile. Well, as angelic of a smile as my smiles can get.

"Ella, I have a plan."

"Plan for what? How to get all of those damn muskrats out of the closet?"

"No. Better."

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

My plan ended up with purple hair dye on the carpet, a bunch or fake snakes hidden around the house, and glue in very interesting places. But that is a story for another time. The point is, the "get Fang and Iggy out of the hellhole" plan didn't really work. It was originally called the "Get Fang out of the Hellhole Because He's too Awesome to Die" plan, but Ella insisted Iggy had to be in the plan name as well, and the name was too long with Iggy's name as well, so it was shortened.

It didn't really matter than the plan didn't work, because Mom was going to kill me for the hair dye and the glue that would be stuck in the drains anyways. Fang and Iggy came out a few minutes after the plan had been executed (and failed), both paler than an albino Prussian who was "too awesome to die" stuck in the middle of a fight between two rival countries.

Anyways. "Fang. What happened in there?" He just shook his head, and walked upstairs. "Fang!" I called after him. Damnit. I would know what happened if it was the last thing I did.

**A/N: *bows* It's done! It's finally done! And yes, it's crappy filler, but it is a chapter! Thank my friend Dana, for without her incessant whining, this probably would not have been finished for a while. Oh, and I put a blatantly obvious Hetalia reference in there. Cookies to whoever can find it!**

**So, if you read the Author's Note chapter, you would know that I am going on hiatus. It will be a part-time hiatus. I will still update, but they will be very slow and few. I apologize, but with school and everything, I don't have enough time to do this. I MIGHT have another chapter up this weekend, but don't get your hope up. **

**That's it for that chapter. Thanks for reading, and stay tuned. And R&R, or the Grapist will come after you in your sleep!**

**~Silver**


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